Christmas Memories

I'm the last one left. Everyone I spent Christmas with as a child is no longer in the physical. But my memories live on within me. One of the hardest parts about being an only child is that you have no sibling left to remember with. So I feel it is really important that I do the work of remembering and appreciating the people that made my holidays magic as a child.

Cut off on the left is my “Uncle” CT, my Granny is in the middle and “Aunt” Gladys is on the right. I am in the floor by the Christmas tree.

You never really realize how non traditional your family is until later in life. The fact that my Mom's first husband, Sam, rented a room from my Granny and was basically an uncle to me was never weird for me. I was taught once you loved someone, you always did. Even if things didn't work out like you thought they would. Sam and my Dad were best friends for a large part of my life. It never seemed odd to me at all. Sam and my Mom were best friends for life, real soul mates in a way.

Sam and my childhood pug, Princess Soo Ming Toy Piggle Wiggle Birthday Markham…with me in the corner. Notice the Gizmo in the baby bed.

My parents would work sooooo hard before Christmas to get everything just right. They always rented a floor buffer thing to clean the hardwood floors and mom would clean everything from floor to ceiling while also cooking a million treats. Both of my parents would also sometimes pick up a 2nd job around the holidays to make sure we had a feast and I got all the magic of Christmas delivered under the tree.

My Mom holding some strange puppet doll I was obsessed with one Christmas.

My Dad with the wall of Christmas cards on the living room closet behind him.

Dad and Sam would hang the Christmas lights and decorate outside my house and my Granny's place....that was through the backyard from me. Her "big yellow house" was built by my great grandparents and had housed the family business of "personal consulting," aka dukkering for generations. Dukkering is the Roma word for fortune telling.

Often, as the adults in my life worked hard to prepare for the holidays I would make a blanket fort and draw or read in there. Or...I would end up hiding in the bathroom closet with a flashlight and a chosen stuffed animal pretending I was in the faerie realm (mind you that closet was sooooo tiny). As I got older I would help out with cooking, mainly baking. Or Mom would give me some holiday craft to do at the kitchen table while they were working.

Me one Christmas morning in the early 80s. Notice my awesome sticker book beside me and the weird puppet baby thing I wanted…I was also wearing a Strawberry Shortcake nightgown here.

I was the only child around. I grew up with adults, not kids. Although all the adults in my life could act like kids sometimes. Especially Sam. I was an only child, my Mom was an only child and my Granny was an only too. So family was limited. My cousins (my great grandmother’s sister’s children), who I called my Aunt & Uncles would be there for the holidays. CT was schizophrenic and lived around the corner. My Granny and Mom helped watch out for him when his sister, my "Aunt" Glayds couldn't be around. Gladys & her husband "Uncle" Pike lived in DC and so having them visit was always a treat. One Thanksgiving, when I was in elementary school, on the way down to Lynchburg from Northern Virginia, Uncle Pike got a flat tire on 1-95. He was hit by a truck and killed while trying to change the tire. It was one of my first real experiences with loss. Gladys was around more after that, helping take care of CT.

My Mom looking on as my “Uncle Pike” opened a present.

My childhood neighbor and friend Sandra (who is still alive) would come over on Christmas and was the closest thing I had to a sibling back then. She was obsessed with the veggies and dip that my Mom would make, especially the green peppers.

Sandra and me by the tree. My mom did theme trees most years. This one was red and silver. I remember a purple one and one covered in apples one year. I was in 8th or 9th grade here. Sandra was a couple years younger.

Some of the photos I am sharing feature all the folks I mentioned here. I wish I had more photos, but the 80s didn't have all of us with a phone in our pocket to document everything. I love that my Mom would often take photos of the tree with the gifts and Santa haul before I woke up. I see the year I got my Dream Dancer and my Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun record...the weird toys I was obsessed with on any given year. Like that monkey or the puppet baby thing I made everyone hold. I love that my childhood pug, Princess Soo Ming Toy Piggle Wiggle Birthday Markham is featured in a few shots. Sandra is by the tree with me in my awkward middle school perm and Mom took that photo of me in my new black dress with pictures of the two Coreys on the wall behind me.

Ignore the hair…and all the Teen Beat photos behind me on my lavender walls.

The houses are gone now, places for someone else's memories. I love the photo of my Granny's house with the snow and her old car...I think it was 82' when the snow came that big. The people are gone, but I am holding the memories. I miss them. I was lucky.

3815 Campbell Ave. in Lynchburg. My Granny’s house…that went to Sam when she died. He didn’t have a will and his sister stole it away from my Mom and sold it for her own profit. She gave my Mom 24 hours to get our family heirlooms out of the house. Sam wouldn’t have done that, it was a big loss.

Sam holding that weird baby puppet thing.

My Granny, Thelma Helsel…the oracle and matriarch. Her kindness and love was as beautiful she was

The loot one Christmas in the 80s.

Mom watching me open some hot pink nightmare I was excited about in that moment.

A new book light I was ready to shine at everyone, and probably spend time in the bathroom closet with.

Who didn’t want a monkey puppet. I guess I had a thing for puppets. I wanted everything to be alive and interactive. Only children just want others to play with.

That white bear in the background was a “Snow Bear” from Thalheimer’s, a local department store. That thing was so special. Not sure about the flamingo.

This was my Granny looking up at Sam. He was like a son she never had. Look at that smile.

So, it’s Christmas and I felt like taking the time to just write up something to remember and honor my family…my personal mythology and the people that made me possible. Seriously….so lucky. Merry Christmas to all….